Riedawriter23

Hello, welcome to YWS! :) Firstly, I must say that this was very difficult to read in the format that you put it in. Try to form it more so ...

Hello! :) I do like this. It's a very interesting beginning. The killings have ranged from simple stabbing or shooting to the chainsaw in the garage. **You should change it ...

Hello! :) Okay, after reading this several times, what really got to me is the "Maybe it's just me parts." It really messes with the overall rhyme scheme of the ...

Hello! :) Convenient Interruption: In your first stanza, I really loved your rhyme scheme. The only thing that bugged me and I'm not quite sure why is when you used ...

Hello! :) I really like this. Maybe it's just because I have a really strong obsession with crows... I don't know. Your rhyme scheme was really nice, and I liked ...

Hello, welcome to YWS! :) I really like this. Usually song lyrics don't really mean anything these days, but here just your words are beautiful. You don't have to depend ...

I agree with Clau, you can do without the sounds that you put down. It takes away from the words. Other than that, when I imagine this in song form, ...

Hello! :) Actually I think this belongs in Other poetry, so I'll let a poetry mod know. Now for the critique! I think your whole idea is really strong. When ...

I agree with Krupp. I haven't actually heard this in song form so it could very well be brilliant. I just think that it's a tad too short, looking at ...

Hello! :) Firstly, I agree with AV. Most of your rhyming is forced. Other than that I think that the idea of the poem is quite cliche but that that ...

This is certainly a narrative...or even some what of a rant, but I don't think this belongs in poetry. I think it just belongs in Other, or even in a ...

Gah, I loved this! Emmett's point of view is just so interesting, and I love how you really went there. You have his voice down packed. At first everything seemed ...

Hello, welcome to YWS! :) *Firstly, I changed the spelling of opinion in your title. *Secondly, I don't think you should have "Honest opinion needed" in place of your title. ...

I agree with AV. But, I think that this poem is a little cliche, it's been done before. Not exactly in your words of course but the idea has been ...

Okay, I'm not going to comment on the lack of punctuation...though I really want to. :) I'll do it on content instead since you could easily fix the other things ...