Riedawriter23

This needs a lot more body. It had a nice border but you need to fill it. The last line was sort of a surprise I didn't realize you were ...

This was really nice. Very good visual image the only thing I would work on is parting your lines. It looks much better when your lines are separated fromeach other ...

I thought this was very beautiful. The words flowed really nice and you had a great image in all of them. The description put out a wonderful perspective and the ...

This was really nice in the beggining when everything resembled a metaphor but afterwords I think you became too close to the monster subject. If you added more similies then ...

lol I really liked this. That is exactly how I felt. Great points on passion for the poem and connecting with your readers.

I have to admit that this a really great beggining to a "story" but not a Narritive poem. You might want to consider moving this to the correct forum as ...

I really enjoyed reading this. It was full of description and passion and I could tell the whole time that you really cared about the subject in which you were ...

I really liked this besides the point that it the two stanzas were so different. They were reading around the same subject but it would have been more clear to ...

This was good esspecially for your first poem and at such a young age. I hope to see more advanced versions of this poem though. Fix through the grammar and ...

This is good in a sense, but it's a little bland. If you could just spice it up and bit and clear you message to the reader up this could ...

That was Amazing! Honestly I didn't know that past was there. I didn't know that Jon and Kyle were together that makes me think back at how much more interesting ...

God I love this! This story is getting better and better with every Ch. I read. I make it a daily routine to keep up with this thing. That's major ...

Very beautiful! I never knew you were so good at photographing! *claps for Fand* -Rieda

This was perfect! I swear that I felt my head being slammed into a wall. And I'm wondering is this an anonymous character of is this Sarah? I'm not saying ...

WOW! Great pictures everyones smokin'! I mean I actually looked at all 53 pages despite my laziness. Yeah, I know! I don't really want to post a pic of me ...