Riedawriter23

See, this was great! I liked how Kyle woke up and immediatly asked where Jon was, that was cute. You did a great job describing the explosion! I could imagine ...

The ending sort of threw me off. Everything was calm and beautiful and descriptive and then we're talking about a man in a black suit and shiny car that said ...

You won’t make it through , it whispered warningly. Emily awoke with a shutter as her eyes zipped crazily around. She had locked the windows and doors so that it ...

Ooo this is very nice! I like the overall idea and the lines didn't seem forced at all. Everything was in its place. This was great. I think this will ...

I loved this, you write extremely long and descriptive sentences just like I do. Some people don't like them but I've always loved the, what I call, "Dawson's Creek" sentence. ...

This really has a powerful meaning but some lines seem forced to me. It would also help if you parted the last part into two separate pieces so it didn't ...

It is only sheer fantasy, I deceive myself. And in my vile heart I know what it is he desires *This is my favorite line. My least favorite line: ...I ...

Ooo, I love this poem. Very simple, short, and great meaning. My favorite part is: Trimmed, short willows Arms held in false praise Wearily guard your walls. Black iron rails, ...

The rhyming was great not forced at all, it all flowed well. Your feeling was powerful as well, I got a really nice mental image while reading this and read ...

Like as if the sound had been switched off. It also felt like I was numb. *This would sound better as: As if the sound had been switched off. I ...

I stole a penny from the college change jar and flicked the heads of every French Bourbon against the tail of our relationship, wagging and frayed *This is my favorite ...

Very nice, the ending was my favorite and I was interested the whole time! Now to critique: 1. This would look and maybe even flow much better if your format ...

Hmm, this was very nice and refreshing. Excellent description, you didn't over or under do it. Sometimes though, I heard the same word many times in a row. It wasn't ...

I love this. Short, meaningful, AND interesting. I love your analogies and your description is excellent. I was just reading your sentences over and over, they had so much meaning ...

I think this is wonderful. It shows a lot of characteristics from other stories you write and well, we all know that I love those. Everyone else pointed out the ...