RedSmiles

Hmmm, I was trying to portray that she didn't feel as if she deserved nice things. Abandonment leaves young ones with a lower sense of self worth. I'll try to ...

It’s been seven months since the woman who birthed me crumbled my family’s foundation, destroyed my home’s illusion of sanctuary, and shattered the maternal bond between us. Work leaves little ...

Everything I am and everything I will be revolves around the capability to write this poetry. - Oh, the clatter I create in my pitiful artistic state. If only I ...

I love your idea here! Very unique and creative. There are several parts that I feel aren't portrayed correctly and some of the execution is poor. I've pointed a few ...

Hello, What a first piece this is! The entire piece is so colorful, and your metaphors are phenomenal, but I'm afraid they're so frequent it's hard for reader to see ...

Oh, I do see what you mean! Both about the 'erupting' and the 'weeping dog'. I made some adjustments to the language as well. I completely agree with you about ...

Hmmm, I tried originally to add breaks to make stanzas. I'm new here, so, it might just be something I don't know, but it seems no matter how many lines ...

"The Stand" By Stephen King. It's an amazing, and extremely long, book. The government accidentally releases a super flu that kills 99% of our population. The survivors are just, somehow, ...

So powerful! "Smile on a Face Becomes a surprise A brilliant disguise Hides the truth Tells only lies" was my favorite stanza. In my opinion you should replace all the ...

I made some of the changes suggested and corrected a lot of punctuation. I already see more areas that need some adjusting, though. What does everyone think? I feel like ...

Very interesting, I especially like the first five lines. After the first five lines I feel like it gets confusing. Perhaps punctuation would help to define your thoughts? A new ...

I appreciate your suggestions and will be taking them into consideration! This society is so inspiring. I'm already brewing up new ideas and improvements. Thanks so much!

Wow! thank you for all of your input. I appreciate your criticism. " 'The man' You've already introduced the father. 'He' would work fine." In your opinion, might it be ...

Hello there everyone! I'm new to the society (obviously) and I'm very excited to have my writings critiqued. So far, through visiting as a guest and my new membership, this ...

Hi Chisel! I'm new as well and am currently working on a series of personal short stories for fun in my spare time. Good luck with your writing, I hope ...