RedRaven

Chapter 2 My mother rubs her flawless blazer for the tenth time. She sighs, and lifts the heavy ceramic mug to her lips again. It leaves a bloody crescent on ...

This was good. A few nitpicks though: I'm sorry dear little lamb For what you're going through For the way you're forced to cram All those devastating feelings in you ...

Nice work. One thing I found peculular was the e-mail format. It made me feel somewhat... disconnected with the story. I suppose where it wasn't in paragraphs and such. But, ...

Chapter 1 She’s dead. Sara is dead and it’s my fault. She didn’t die because of her parents, or the screaming girl inside her head that wanted to get out, ...

Hello, Sicklee! This poem was good. The flow was a bit choppy, but it was good. Suggestion: One thing I'd suggest is re-wording some things. Especially the first stanza. The ...

This was fun to read! I liked that it was upbeat and happy. I am another one of those writers who writes a lot of dark, heavy material, but your ...

This was good. I really liked it! I didn't find any spelling or grammer errors, which is always good. :D I liked your references to Pandora's box, even though I ...

If this calorie-counting thing is going to work for me, I’ll have to put some rules in place to stay sane keep things in order. I take a butterfly-printed pad ...

This was really good. The title intrigued me, a lot. One thing that I'd suggest though, is re-arranging it. When I read the beginning, it didn't connect well with the ...

I really, really liked this. I loved the stream of consciousness. It actually flowed better than if you'd chosen a few sentences and put them together in a poem. I ...

My mouth falls open, and nacho-dust sprinkles into the canyons below me. My hand reaches into the bag again, and I shove another handful of Doritos in my mouth. I ...

Hmm... this poem is... different. It's not my piece of cake, but I like it. I do have some nitpick's to highlight, though. The skin of my eyes divorce by ...

The steps creak as I slither down them. The exorcist Dad is standing in the kitchen, reading a stack of papers, probably something from his million-hour-a-week job. I tiptoe into ...

My eyes are starting to adjust to the darkness. I lean against my bed and wince as the frame bites into my back. Another knock sounds at my door. I ...

Okay, so... ' This was an okay poem. I found it a little bit mind-numbing, but I guess that's just me. One thing I did like though, was that it ...