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Re: The Protecter
Hiya! Welcome to YWS! Now, down to reviewing. I don't know what is going on in your story. What is the plot? You might want to expand on this chapter ...
Aug 2, 2010 -
Re: Unfinished story - Warsky.
Wow! Great story you have got there! It really pulled me in. The only thing I would change would be rewording We lived in a small village in the countryside, ...
Aug 2, 2010 -
Re: Sweet Lies -Prologue + Chapter 1-
Hi, RedRaven! I think you actually have a great plot and a great piece. There are a few things you could work on, though. About the prolougue: like torigirl15 side, ...
Aug 1, 2010 -
Re: working title: SERAS chapter 1 draft 2
Hey, tigs6969! I really like your piece, though, overall, there are a few things you could improve on, one being that you have a lot of voice in your writing, ...
Jul 31, 2010 -
Re: Legendary Party Chapter 1: A new start (edited)
Hi! I'm a newbie too. YWS sure looks promising, huh? Anyways, time to review. I like your story. There are some grammar mistakes, and run-on sentences. Like Esther Sylvester says, ...
Jun 16, 2010 -
Re: That FALL Day Prologue
Your prologue is okay, but it doesn't really pull me, as the reader, in. It's missing the vital 'pizazz'. Besides that, I have some nit-picks. You are missing a lot ...
May 27, 2010 -
Re: The Re-Creation Comet
I can't say that I am not a bit confused. I like the general idea, but I agree that it isn't really a story, and your sentences are kind of ...
May 25, 2010