RanaNoodles

Molly is supposed to be her aunt, but it felt weird to say Aunt Molly so I just went with Molly

So well I started a second chapter, but then I stopped because I suck at staying on track with one story and then I kind of deleted the document which ...

I%u2019m happy it helped! Happy New Years Eve to you too!

I don%u2019t know, I%u2019ll try to fit it into the story somehow... thanks for the help!

What if I called her Tia? It%u2019s one word and kind of casual, but it implies that Molly%u2019s her aunt? I don%u2019t know where the Spanish would come from though.

Yeah, that would definitely make it a little harder to understand, haha. I originally referred to Molly as Aunt Molly but I shortened it. Do you think Aunt Molly would ...

I was thinking that because Molly is technically Paris%u2019s legal guardian, they would let her know first, to make sure she%u2019s okay with it or something. I don%u2019t know if ...

Thanks for the review!

Yeah, the beginning was supposed to show that she doesn%u2019t know what to do but or she%u2019s shocked or something along those lines. I agree the other part was off, ...

Oh I didn't mean to do that, haha.

Oops, I guess I submitted that twice. Sorry!

Hi! So, your story starts in past tense. I really like that, even though I generally don't like to write or read in past tense. It was all so well ...

I have no clue if this actually went out onto the website but it wasn't done yet, I meant to just save it. Um. I don't know what to do ...

(I didn't mean to click enter, but I guess this is here now and I don't know how to delete it, soooo...)

I think, on the format, that the indents on 'sleep', and 'predawn' seemed a little bit random to me, but that might just be me; I don't read or write ...