Rag-Dolly

“. His carcass hit the ground with a muffled thud" 'Hit' should become 'hits' to make the sentence flow better. “ Riveted in his grandfathers enchanting story he gazed awaitingly ...

The story's pretty interesting so far. I don't have any critique on it ^^; Although you do need a full stop at the end of your very last sentence, but ...

Decent beginning, it's got me hooked ^^. Only thing to tell you is that, in the last sentence, you missed out the letter 'e' in 'Alex's'.

Well, I finaly got round to searching out your story since you were kind enough to look at mine (and add me as a friend too!). It's slightly late perhaps, ...

It's short but interesting. You do need to proof read (As is mentioned above) your work or maybe use a spell/ Grammar checker to avoid minor mistakes. Here are some ...

Nice beginning, I'm very interested in the rest of the story. Here's some of the things I picked up on and some of my suggestions which may make it a ...

Deleted and removed. All comments were helpful and I'm grateful that you took the time out to read it. Thank you. ^_^

It's an interesting start to your story. The ending so far is the best part. You do have quite a few mistakes but simply re-reading it will help prevent those. ...

Very interesting, it was easy to read and had a steady pace to it. The first paragraph caught my attention quickly and I can place myself in the character's shoes ...