RacheDrache

This doesn't make sense; it's a double negative. My email alerted me someone had replied, and so I looked at the reply. Couldn't resist responding, even if briefly, because I ...

And I'm back. I don't think this one will be nearly so terrible. Have no fear! Chapter One Words cannot express my love for the opening of this chapter. I ...

You most certainly can still include all the thoughts and feelings of the character! It's just all about what angle you describe it from. Think of it like a super ...

Whoops! I reread my review right now and realized I forgot to mention the other style vibe I got. My thoughts run away with the spoon far too often. But ...

Thanks so much, everyone! Though I was curious about who this creator was and why they are locked up and also why the other character was chosen by the creator ...

Whoops, my bad. Should have explained that better. I'll pull some examples. In no order at all... There really was no other option, but that didn't make this one any ...

Phew. That was a little long. But, not that long. So, I think you're better off not splitting the chapters up. You might want to post them separately, though, because ...

Thanks, Ithy! Your comment made me laugh for a little bit (in a good way!) because one of the explanations I had for the narrator's relationship with "you" was that ...

@ Once Thank you for your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'm very glad that you want more on the narrator, because that's the direction I've been trying ...

There is a perfectly good reason for me to use such 'big words' (hehe) in this POV. There is, trust me. I just can't say anything about it without giving ...

Well, that makes two of us, Blackbird. I'm confused about this piece myself. Really confused. I've never written anything like it before, and probably will never write anything like it ...

Thanks Jen! I'll work on the repetition... it's an old habit.

Thanks Tamara!

Thanks oodles, Jai! I went through and edited with your suggestions, and methinks it's much better now. Does it really work as a short story? I guess I keep imagining ...

Thanks Gabbs! It's here in Other, though, because it's half non-fiction and way, way more poetic than my usual fare. But, thanks again!