RacheDrache

Jai summoned me, and I came, and I'm glad I did. Errors aside, the emotion was great, and the voice was great. A lot of my suggestions revolve around tightening ...

Gah, I was going to reply to this ages ago. Then I didn't. Oops. Anyway, the name's Rach, and I'll be critiquin' today. First, the opening to this was awesome. ...

All right, so I read this days ago, and then had to go sleep or something and didn't post a response, but I thought I'd posted a response, but obviously ...

Hey Fire! 'Tis Rach. I hope I can pay you back some in terms of helpfulness. Also, you said not to go soft. Which makes virtually no change on the ...

Two things, for the record. One, you have the best bribes ever! I mean, honestly. Seriously. It's almost ridiculous how good your bribes are. Just when I said, "You know, ...

Hey Vox! I noticed that this has been up for almost a week with no response, and so, even though I haven't read anything else besides an excerpt way back, ...

Hey BlackSheep! I went and read your this chapter and the first one, as requested. I agree completely with Zankoku's comments about how natural the friendship felt, as well as ...

Um, this'll sound weird, but do you, by any chance, live in or around the Pacific Northwest? Because I read a story that happened in that region, about a woman ...

Well, romance is not my genre, not at all. So, I'm going to steer away from anything plot related before I sound like an idiot. Also, I haven't read the ...

You know, I read this last night and was sure someone would respond between then and now, so I didn't post my thoughts. But looks like I'm still first. Hrm. ...

Oh, how terrifically interesting ! I'm so intrigued I can't even put the right words to it. I guess I'll just have to settle with, "I think you've got something ...

Awwww. Now look what you did. This made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I don't think the spiders in my heart liked the sudden burst of sunlight. ...

Under 100 pounds? Oh geez, that's skinny! Yikes. I can't quite find a smilie to express my horror. But anyway, onto critique. I have two main complaints. The first is ...

Phew. That was really, really long! You might want to break it up into shorter chapters or only post parts of it at a time. Otherwise, it's a lot to ...

Hi Skillful! This was a fun read. You've got the space-soldier-adventurer voice down, and, as a result, this was really easy for me, as a reader, to get into. I ...