Pundit

You get tentacle porn. *inserts chocolate coin*

You break Planck's Constant. *inserts severed head*

You get a locked thread. *inserts squee!*

Unfortunately it was a placebo

You get broken hapes and shattered dreams. *inserts coin*

How about a spell to let me walk through walls.

Fortunately, TriSARAHtops revived it.

Professor Quirrel?

I yam what I yam.

Lilo and stitch "Is he gone?" "All except the tail."

You Were Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson Wait, what was the question again?

The power to heal people of anything, unfortunately it is incredibly addictive to the person being healed (and you can't heal this addiction)

The great God PAN keeps all writers as slaves.

You get married! *inserts Waldo*

You get a History of Mathematics textbook. *Inserts pumpkin pie*