Pundit

Granted. You can pause your time, which means that when you use your power, you are frozen forever while the rest of the world passes you by. You won't even ...

Fortunately, Death happened to be there for you to sell your soul to.

Fortunately it also damaged another part of you brain, which actally allows you to keep them from seeing you.

You get Pundit! *Inserts Warrior Princess*

Granted but there is sexism, homophobia, religious bigotry, and now 99.9% of the population is below the poverty level. I wish Warrior Princess died for making me corrupt that.

You get a cactus. *inserts self*

You get a cabbage leaf. *inserts elephant dropping*

Fortunately, they discovered that they could eat all the dead fish floating around.

You get Amanda Holden. *Inserts simoleon*

Fortunately, they were running out of food, so their population was quickly reduced to manageable numbers

Granted- you turn into pinocchio I wish I was me.

Granted, but you turn into a cold virus(nothing more sinister than the common cold you said). I wish that I had an apple

Granted. They all want you, but you get a much better deal from Oxford, so you go there instead. I wish Warrior Princess was the Baroness de Thénard in a ...

Granted, but no one ever gets enough sleep and therefore they die young, so nothing is really gained by the extra time anyway. :\ *Um, what did you think the ...

Granted- now you wish they hadn't. I wish I knew the exact value of pi.