PsychicNinja

Hi! First off I'd like to say that I really like this story idea! In the prologue there are some grammar problems, which can easily be fixed. Also in the ...

I will keep looking for more, Ash! I sounds great. I think this installment brings out werewolf and vampire differences. I can't really comment a lot, because it's short, but ...

Wow...I'm the first to comment! Great again, Ash! I love the idea of bringing enemies together to fight another common enemy! Character interplay is great, again. I interaction between all ...

Wow....very powerful, Ash. I have a couple of things: In first part, you use to many "I"s. Try to use less "I"s. There are also a few grammar and fluency ...

Ok.... this was ok.........but um...Kakashi...oh nevermind! It has a good plot and the character interplay is good between Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura and Emi. It kinda skips a little, so ...

I liked it! Sounds like a good beginning. I like that it's set in a different village other than Konoha or Suna. The character interplay is ok too. I think ...

Hi again! I like it. Keep it up. Character interplay is good as always! But you really need to explain how Ayumi got the Byakugan or just ditch it! Only ...

Now your writing a story!!!!! This was awesome!!! I love the interplay between the characters and all. Characters make the story! This totally brings out Itachi and Ayumi, brings out ...

Hey! I have to agree with Sumi about Itachi. I really like your style of writing, though. Sorry...but to tell you the truth....i burst out laughing a few times, because ...

Hi! It sounds good as a story. But when you add in Itachi's personality and Haku's past and doesn't fit in. You should make it a little more believable for ...

Hi Amber! This sounds really good. You just have to clean up a few grammar things and fluency problems and your good to go! you might also want ot seperate ...

Hi Lume-chan! It sounds like a good beginning. I'm kinda confused though.....you introduce Terra...then you bounce into the story. I also don't get it-how many people were in this dream? ...

Hello! I really like this as a prologue, but some sentances were a little confusing. You switched back from 1st person to 2nd person. I like the idea of this ...