Pernicious

Randy McKinney | Town Hall Office Within the corner of Randy's irises twinkled his golden spurs. Each scale upon his glazen eyeballs were caressed with an ochre hue, but Randy ...

Name: Randy McKinney. Age: 40. Gender: Male. Occupation: Sheriff. Appearance: Tall, lacking hair, crooked teeth and the hair that he does have being strawberry blonde says it all. Mean. Randy ...

Hello, Charlotte1, I'm Pernicious and I'll happily give you a review. First of all; I'm impressed! For an eight year old to write such a fabulous story - I assure ...

Wow, for only the first part of a chapter and the intro this is very good. You definatly hook the reader That's a relief, I usually struggle with opening paragraphs ...

Name: Tew. Age: 49. Gender: Male. Appearance: Tew is quite a hefty man; substantial in both width and length. This gives him a very grand effect, and his grey hair ...

Okay, this isn't the first chapter to my story, but it's about a page and a half of it. I wanted to get some honest opinions and reviews to see ...

Hello, Loreena ;)! Oh, and welcome to YWS :D. I'm Pernicious and I'll be happy to review this for you! I will highlight mistakes in red, then highlight things I ...

Love it! Extremely unique, and at least fifty percent of the terms you used in this story were exquisite and repeatidly drew me in more and more. It was impossible ...

I agree with the previous comments, this is an extremely well structured and well typed story! Personally, I love these types of stories. Riddles at first, then throughout the story ...

First of all, with a lot of tweaking obviously, I think I would read this. It's tense and rather thrilling, but it could still use a lot of detail. I'm ...

Craig Peterson | 11:25 | Within Cocoon, towards the West Entrance. Peeling back cocoa coloured eyelids, Craig Peterson awoke to endure yet another corrupt day on this planet, which was ...

:O I adopted Pomarious o.o, a part of an orchid apparently :P I googled the word and apparently it's not even there :/..

The plot? I could simplify it for you if you want. I have a feeling this is what a lot of people are thinking.. Maybe I should've have been so... ...

Bump! o-o I think we'll start with five people then if anyone else wants to join in they can, maybe they just lagged behind a bit in the story and ...

Name: Olivia Willams. Gender: Female. Age: 20. Appearance: Olivia is quite good looking, and she has to be for her career. Although she is not natural and has had plenty ...