PatrickMulvihill

Thanks for your input! I do agree that "cause" doesn't quite fit with the mood. I just thought "because" would break up the rhythm a bit so I cut it ...

Hey, everyone. I took some of your tips and tweaked the poem a bit. Hope the change helps a bit.

Thank you for the great tips, guys. I'd have to agree with everything said and very useful points. I'll work on editing it for a whlie. ;)

Thanks for your response. I have done such web activities already. I see the cliches but this story is supposed to be set in a typical fantasy setting, not a ...