PaperCrane

'I break like glass' could be better?

Thank you so much! I also know I can do better than this. Descriptions aren't my strong point, I'm so desperate to get the story out, I tend to say ...

Hi Angela, Thanks so much, everything there is related to this is posted here... I'm writing the story in no particular order, so nothing follows on or leads up to ...

Another little bit from the story I'm writing. The protagonist is able to see ghosts and have relationships with them and is determined to find the reason why. The character ...

Thanks Rememberme! I'm doing my best here :)

Hi thank you so much for your review, I know it's not really a review but it's amazing to get some positive feedback. I really wasn't sure if this was ...

I've never read that, maybe I should do!

This is not a complete story, it's just another little bit, I'd like some suggestions and help re the dialogue, or bascially any critique anyone wants to give me is ...

Hi Truth - I dig that punctuation! I don't really know much about how to use it in a poem, so that's cool advice for me, thanks. Also like your ...

Thanks wondergirl, it was very harsh wasn't it? Some people need a kick up the bum I think ;)

I really like that! That's such a good idea... I don't know why I didn't think of doing it past tense. I especially like that new line remember how I ...

Hi, thanks for that, I'm really chuffed to finally get a decent review on this. I know it needs a lot of work which is why I needed some help. ...

Ok, you are 12 years old...?

Remember me a pale ghost A milky, misty fragrance Don't forget the white of my eyes The veil of fear I wore Remember me an old song A shattered plate ...

Hi, thanks for your reply, and OCD moment. You're totally right about fish, they do actually bleed, but not in the same way an animal or person will bleed quickly. ...