PaperCrane

Hi thanks for that review, I like a critique I can sink my teeth into. It's very in depth! First of all I'll explain that this is not a short ...

Hi Stephene, Thanks for your review, I'm glad you like the story :) Just to say 'the truth will out' is not a typo, I did mean to say that. ...

This is not a complete short story, it's a small bit of a longer story I'm writing. There are lots of other fragments on YWS as well, so it's the ...

This flows really well! I wasn't expecting such a deep poem when I started reading, but this one really stuck with me. The rhyming is perfect all the way through, ...

Hi Ben thanks for giving me such an in-depth review. Its quite perceptive and I hadn't really thought about stuff like including the protagonist's thought pattern in the narration, that's ...

Hi thanks for your reply - yes this is a continued story, I should have explained that at the beginning. I''ve written loads of different bits of the same story, ...

Loved that man, I didn't know we were allowed to post stuff like that on here! I didn't realise at first that the protagonist is talking to himself, but I ...

Love it, really different and cool! I agree you've got too much 'falling' in that one sentence, but other than that I really can't fault it. I also love the ...

Hi Lee, Thanks for critiquing it - you can tell I wrote that on the train! I don't know why I switched from past to present to past again... very ...

Some more of the story I'm writing... this fits itself in right after my piece called "Resignation". The two halves of this are supposed to be in the same chapter, ...

Hi Flow, thank you so much for you review, I'm amazed you spent so much time on it. Hugs to you! Yes I agree the first paragraph could actually be ...

Yeah, the first line does have another meaning which isn't clear. To turn away from the light means to turn towards darkness, or towards sadness/evil. I'm using sun instead of ...

Thanks, yeah I did mean neighbours, I forgot the plural. I like the first line simple though x

Hi Angela, I love this.. it's unique and I really adore Liam's character. He's a complete lunatic, really genuinely insane, I can't get enough of him going "I killed my ...

Fair enough, seems that nobody got this poem except my boyfriend who I wrote it for, so I guess I'll forget it and he can keep it to himself if ...