Palantalid

FamousAuthor, this is fizzy!! Good job, I mean. Actually, It seems a little short of fizz. Free verse alright, but it's a little slow. The metaphor doesn't seem to permeate ...

sopher, this is rather good stuff. Your phrasing and imagery were great, but some of the lines sounded a bit worn, if you know what I mean. For example, "but ...

Hey, iCarlyfan! Firstly, this was an awesomely put story (why is it in dramatic, and not in Narrative?) I don't care if it's from a video game or not. You ...

Firstly-- very intriguing name. It sounds German but I don't know if I would bet on it. Secondly, some of the lines-- The first two paras had some good images, ...

McHelpfulPants, this is great stuff! The poem obviously comes from someone with a great sense of creativity and observation. It's at once absurd and intelligent. Anyone reading this will obviously ...

Hey JC, first off- peanut's suggestions were intelligent. I agree with them. Secondly, woah. As far as your brand of narratives go, you've made a great jump in quality. This ...

Impressions- First read- I thought it was a little too bored. The first part was so reminiscent of people who write poetry because they are bored. Second reading- I was ...

Okay firstly, don't know if I can give conductive criticism (intriguing idea though!!) but hope to give constructive criticism. :) Right, I thought it was pretty simple-themed poem, clarity enough. ...

I don't think this made too much sense to anyone who hasn't read Eliot's poem. I did read Elly but can't connect. You might not be trying to but I ...

Gadi. I have to tell you that even if I'm being a desperate stock market analyst, your poems are getting on a more tone of hopelessness....more idleness, less creative. It's ...

Oh goody. I've found out what it is I like about your poems...they're the feel good variety. I'm in a good mood today so I'll congratulate you for doing what ...

Very nice. I'll try to be thorough so forgive nitty-pickies. It seems to have lasted for months, this one. A quick line by line>>> Branding very nice title. fits well ...

Haha...I had favorited this, to critique later, but forgot about it. Anyway, better late then never. Onwards... Well, the numbness portrayed in the first two lines just tells me why ...

Experiencing bugs. All the posts are stretching away endlessly to the right and the Post Reply link refused to open. But this isn't the place for that. To the critique ...

Alright, I thought this peice had some great imagery and what I think is was symbolism. But this is not like any other peice I've read of yours. S1 -Well, ...