Nikiller

Well I'm not usually one for these sorts of poems but I quite liked this one. I particularly liked the way you coupled the ideas of love and hate; stark ...

Existence It’s my will, my choice. It’s my will to bend, corrupt, fabricate. Divine intervention a concept of ages old, archaic relics powerless to influence. Forgotten pasts, fragmented futures,

Thanks for the comments everyone, much appreciated. However, Galerius I would like to come back to you on a few points: you were cushioned or was the preacher cushioned within ...

Good use of imagery and I like the build up of the semantic field of darkness at the beginning (it is said that this is an unconcious thing so you ...

The Preacher Cushioned by his holy books spoils galore I can still remember the preacher. A wizened being of great reverence, a beacon of glory and righteousness. Aptly perched high ...

A new dawn; as the sun sets on A Bed of Acid. Wisps of green pave the way to intoxication. The mindless rabble now has a voice: Junkies of Capitalism. ...

I think everyone else has highlighted the main errors. Main point from me: watch your structure and its consistency. Overall it's a good effort and a nice use of imagery. ...

I'm in agreement with everyone else here, although I do really like the concept of describing different emotional dispositions. Greatly lacking is a use of imagery: 'clueless' is perhaps the ...

Nice use of imagery but just a few things to comment on... Heart racing Adrenalin rushing Total excitement-- Perhaps a semi-colon after 'racing' and a colon after 'rushing' would make ...

I'm not great with love poems so I too found this one particularly over the top. The rhyme scheme is slightly erratic: you establish one at the beginning and then ...

I think mizz-iceberg covered everything I was going to say. The main advice from me: work on your choice of language and particularly your grasp of it. Good luck.

I'm, not usually one for love poems, but this one sucked me in quite nicely. Lovely use of imagery here: As the golden sun sends pastel pinks across the sky ...

I personally quite like the vagueness, it forces the reader to formulate their own interpretation; I do agree with Vernon, in that you have to show rather than tell. Some ...

I'm in agreement with most, the idea isn't terribly original but the vines are a good image especially when it comes to restrictions in everyday life. Although I couldn't directly ...

[pre]Ignorance at work, as you narrow your Slits. How dare you judge me. As you fall back into your drunken stupor. In line soldier; Death is imminent. Plagued by the ...