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Re: Harken!
this is a good. piece as far as corrections however, you keep transferring from rhyme to non-rhyme which i am not sure whether or not you did intentionally, but the ...
Jul 13, 2008 -
Re: Harken!
Harken! I have a story to tell you Of a gorgeous maiden who was always true, Of a beast that spread malice and gore, Of a pious prince with eyes ...
Jul 13, 2008 -
Re: Depth
I liked this, especially how it turned morbid toward the end. You're use of old English gives a good sense of time to and beat to the piece as well. ...
Jul 8, 2008 -
Re: Lamentations of an unwilling heart.
I thought this was a generally good poem, better than average, so I don't have *that* much crit, yet I did see somethings that kind of bothered me: In the ...
Jul 8, 2008 -
Re: Hello, hello! :D
Thanks again for welcoming me~! :D
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Enigma
My world has curled around you smoke against wood, twisting to fit in a place so apart from my own. My mind has concluded and disproved again and again that ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: ocean swells
Of course, not all poetry rhymes. As for this poem, I just feel like it's describing the obvious; I don't think it really delves into something really deep. When you ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Killing Time
Killing Time I move quickly behind you ‘till I trip over garbage on the pavement You turn around and see nothing though I’m in the darkness. I start to move ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Electricity Storm
The title drew me in, honestly. Critique time~!: From the bay view, in window form, yesterday I saw an electricity storm. As the rain beat down, it beat down warm. ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Mistress of the Nights
I have a feeling this poem ends with a suicide (am I right?) but I'm not sure what leads to the event. Is she simple tired of the city? I ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Pedophile
this is really something else. this poem brings emotion to me. it is very sad. i like it how it is but i do think that something else could be ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Pedophile
Pedophile Her skin is smooth and russet From playing in the sun. It makes it hard to believe she Was born just five years ago. Her lips are petite and ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Love Sea
First of all, I love the title for some reason. Really, I'm not sure why, but it has a nice ring to it. Now on the the critique. I'm sure ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Kansas, Bleeding Kansas
I like the ethreal feeling to this, although I do wish that there were a few more concrete things mentioned to get a better feeling of the atmosphere of this ...
Jul 6, 2008 -
Re: Hello, hello! :D
Thanks a lot for the welcome everyone! ps. what type of genre do you write? Well, most of the time I write stories in the romance, historical, drama, or just ...
Jul 6, 2008
