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I comletely agree about the whole college thing. If the girl was an adult, a majority would feel more comfortable in reading it. I love your descriptive vocab. :) :idea: ...

Good but really short, it could be a base for a poem or maybe if you elaborated on the piece and added more narrative, it would help alot. :idea: The ...

Really nice piece of writing.. If you extened this peice and made it a bit more flowing by adding comma's in some place, it would improve it immensely. These lyrics ...

thanks to both of you :) i can see how both of you are correct and im putting these points into consideration when i am re-writing it :) oh and ...

DIRTY MIND, POLLUTED VISION Melvin Banggollay Try adding THE at the begining Mind is the temple of one's wisdom an abode of one's will and volition where outlook may have ...

Knock Knock! "Cassie... You can't stay in there all day" I could hear my sisters muffled voice through the Vibrating music and the wooden door. You there Paramorekid ?? The ...

five months we shared But it never felt Like you really cared Every time you held Me in your arms Cutting through the sentance and breaking it into two lines ...

Bright pink on my ankles A reminder of how much you meant to me The words always there Biting and stinging Pulling me into a cloud that's not so welcoming ...

[quote="Eraqio"]Hold dear the moments that make us. Stand clear of the forces in life that overshadow. I think I'm late, life always waits for someone. Maturity. I never want to ...

This is one of the first pieces i've wrote..Bit sci-fi.. i didnt know where it was leading so i stopped. I tried to Do it from a male point of ...

You may cry and bleed ,Take joy in deceipt. Find happiness and pain in all that you do. Will you ever be understood. were you made to be understood. Is ...

Infinite bite and trialed fights, bayonettes not short from sight. The sky bleached red like the fiery pitts of hell. The bombs like my foot, not so swell and Gorey. ...