Nerrvany

First off, I want to say that this was pretty interesting to read and I like a lot of the points you made. Most of my critique is word usage ...

Hey, first off welcome to YWS! The cheerfulness is contagious, so brace yourself :P Reading this, it sort of found its own rhythm as I read it which was really ...

"Same dif" seems out of place. The meaning of "toothpastey" was unclear at first (it took me a little bit to realize he must be brushing his teeth). The thing ...

Really only one thing that stuck out to me, and that's the very last sentence. The way it immediately follows Edna's words feels like she is the one who says ...

I love the irony of the whole situation, though it really slows down at the end. You're carrying the same humor that you had in the prologue, it's just getting ...

I smiled the moment Methodius showed up, and I love the personality you gave him in the prologue (though I had to look back to find his name). The biggest ...