Navita

This poem is beautiful. It speaks to me, and I am there all at once, like your character, looking at that coin. I like the flow, and I like how ...

What I'd like to know is if you know where you are going with this. It's clearly not as short as it appears - oh, no, the story is quite ...

Hello Mark - Congrats on winning that poetry contest. You've got me all curious now...maybe in a few years, till it was ages ago, reveal that book, yes? I can't ...

Hi Ace! (You've got me wondering what your real name is now). I'm an NRI - been living abroad for too long to call myself Indian! Nah, seriously, I can ...

Hi Esther - cool name by the way - love the rhyme - and nice to meet you. I fear that YWS might become like that - I only just ...

I haven't read the other comments, but I don't care if I might be repeating everyone else: all I've got to say is - Hilarious. I think 'Ode to Pancakes' ...

I have also just realised why it's not a great idea to write rhyming poetry - sounds archaic or childish or like it's meant for children and so cliche. I ...

What would you name this fifth one? At first, I wondered if this one was going to be about anything - what I mean is that, it is so easy ...

I have just read the above version, and from first glance, I can definitely say I like what I read. Just a few things to note: firstly, I think almost ...

Yes, I agree with Hypocrit, that you need some purpose BEFORE you write, but this throws up a problem: what if your poem is about not having any purpose? Then, ...

So far, it is a stream of consciousness, and that in itself makes it a grabbing start ('I totally forgot.') but quickly makes people skim over the rest, wondering when ...

I agree with perdido - definitely needs some reworking - but I like the content matter. I definitely think it makes a chilling story, and I think it would have ...

I think it's cliche because it's so true...from the first few lines, I could already see where it was going. Put in an element of surprise. Add in the unexpected. ...

Well, having been to India myself, I can certainly see where you are coming from! It is so true, and the harsh reality of it is frightening, and very cliche, ...

I, too, am amazed at your poetry - such striking imagery! One major issue for me in reading your poems was that they are an eyeful - block text is ...