MyrddinDerwydd

The story itself is really cute, and like most of the others, the perspective of the horse is fun, because we all kind of do that in our heads sometimes, ...

I am actually probably one of the least angsty people around, and I'm sorry if it was rather angry venting-the whole concept disgusts me, and by reproducing it in things ...

Really quite good, though I'm not sure why you dropped to three lines in the second to last stanza. The only thing that is a little jarring, and it is ...

As this always comes up with this poem- yes, Neptune was the mythological god of the sea, though I say that he is not. My intent is that water is ...

It doesn't really have a particular purpose. The dichotomous nature of water is a theme that actually comes up rather frequently; it is simultaneously essential to life and the medium ...

Be aware that I haven't read the first version, so apologies if I repeat anything that was discussed there. Definitely has a lot of potential, and the theme is great--I ...

Why does this angsty, ridiculous, "I need a therapist" theme come up so frequently in teen writings? It's disgusting. The same story could have been told without the guy being ...

Besides, for every story you post, you should do at least two critiques. If you follow this, then you should have no problem. :) Actually, since you can only get ...

Ouroboros water is Life mothers’ wombs are liquid havens giving birth in a world of their own like the oceans teeming with life from the white caps of the waves ...

Ouroboros water is Life mothers’ wombs are liquid havens giving birth in a world of their own like the oceans teeming with life from the white caps of the waves ...

I love the theme, however, since you put a sustained effort into maintaining a rhyme scheme, the lack /irregularity of the meter detracts noticeably from the work. There are some ...

The plural of thesis is theses. Overall I think the idea is great so far, I agree with what most of the others have said about it needing some refinement ...