MrTilgen

I love how you started out, especially the title explaining it. The imagery was very nice and detailed, you should give yourself a lot of credit for that! Writing about ...

This is a nice prologue, however, I didn't really understand it that well. From what I can tell there is a person who is looking back at when they were ...

I really enjoyed your introduction at the beginning, which includes the first three sentences of your story. The part when you write: All I could hope for is that they ...

I really think you should describe the setting more at the beginning of the story. That way, people will have a better understanding of the environment around Fang and Kat. ...