Mozurkz

Are you allowed to post replies to your own post if it's not just bumping? First of all, thank you for all the comments! I'm torn about the detail sections. ...

Here is the first chapter of a novel I am writing. I am 15, and have written several fantasy stories in the far past, but normally I write plays. Anyways, ...

I'll start by saying that if you're really 10 this is quite impressive. You have fairly good ideas, and you have a plot going, but your writing needs work. You ...

This conveys the mood very well, but if something doesn't happen to hook the reader in the next paragraph then most people will lose interest.