Mizzle

Hey! Great poem, here. You've done a really fantastic job. I like this a lot. The second version you wrote is better than the first by far--miles. I was already ...

Hi, there! Nice poem, here. As a few others have said, this is very simple and short--which isn't a bad thing at all, if that's how you want it to ...

This was okay. Strictly okay. As Kamas said, it needed to have more of a graceful language to pull this off correctly. Maybe saying something different then what you said--because ...

Hey, Howler! Nice subject of poetry you've chosen--luck and chance! So very cool. And unique, even better.The poem itself isn't fabolous, but it's okay. I really like the idea, though. ...

First of all, I love this--the subject, the way it's written, it's beautiful. Tears would have come to my eyes if I was one of those people who cry at ...

Hi. Nice work, here. :) I think that if you branched out from just describing this and add more, it'd be much better. Also, maybe keep the lines a little ...

Hi. Nice work here, to start. It has very nice flow, and the simplicity of it all adds to the nothingness feeling as Amy pointed out. I like that! Also, ...

Hi Red--just a quick overview of what I think! You use half rhymes, as a few others have said. Flow is key. And that means the rhymes have to fit ...

This is okay--one dimensional, as Kamas said. The rhyme here is quite nice, so good job on that. I like the whole point of the poem, the idea. It interested ...

Hey, Kyousuke! Great work here. I'm a big fan of autumn, and the leaves and colors are my favorite part. I'm partial to this, to say. But as Hope mentioned, ...

Hiya Flit! This is a half/half beautiful poem--a sort of. It flowed very well, which makes it easy to read and very enjoyable. The writing style you use is spectacular, ...

I didn't like the jagged-ness of the poem, or how it flowed. And how you broke the lines in the beginning--that wasn't my favorite either. But still, good job. A ...

Aqua and Hope pointed out it sounds like lyrics--and it did for me, too. Because as Aqua said, I could think of a few bands who would sing something like ...

Whoa. This is absolutely great. I loved, loved, loved this times twenty. It was new, different, and something out of the ordinary! And it was awesome! Really spectacular. I was ...

I agree with Hope and Aqua about the slightly forced rhythm, as well as the cliche feeling to it--it made me think of Twilight. D: Anyhoo, I do think this ...