Merlin34

Like KanenRenoir said, you have a lot of errors and run-on sentences. I still liked it though. It seems like you wrote it while drunk with creativity and inspiration, but ...

This. So much. I still see works that don't even have the word "I" capitalized. People learn this stuff in first and second grade! Why is it so hard?

I liked this. The imagery was good, but you could do to describe the characters a bit more (unless you've described them more in previous chapters). Dracon's emotional reactions are ...

I don't know your writing style or whats easier for you but I would try writing first person like if your the girl in the story. It would help put ...

*claps slowly* Bra... vo. I'm the guy who reviewed Chapter 4 the first time you posted it. I don't know what you were doing in the last month and a ...

Uhh... have you ever actually been in a romantic relationship before? Or seen one in real life? Because the way you portray this is extremely unrealistic. People do not start ...

Did it not cave in? Like in the movies... O.o Shelters like these are very sturdy.

The shelter is called a "snow coffin" (needs a new name I think). It's like a trench covered with branches and a tarp, and then some snow, with a blanket ...

I just spent the night inside a snow shelter. It was warm inside the sleeping bag (though damp), even though it was below zero outside! When I woke up, the ...

Name: Max Age: 15 Gender: Male ______ Top 3 Movies Title: Defiance Genre: Action/Historical Title: Titan A.E. Genre: Sci-Fi Title: Taken Genre: Action ______ 3 Worst Movies Title: Twilight Genre: ...

Xavier: Scream and run. Lily: Scream and run. Wolf: Kill it and make some tiger-burgers. Lord Latrapi: Try to escape if possible. If not, kill the tiger. Merenor: Hide in ...

I got my netbook back from the repair shop! I can finally write again! I already seem better!

This seems interesting, but I'm not entirely sure what the theme is supposed to be. Is it a story told form the POV of someone who goes to music festivals? ...

It's hard to review this since it's so short, but I'll do it anyway. Overall, I wasn't really impressed by this part. I've skimmed through the other parts, and they're ...

Green eyes are actually more common among certain ethnic groups, like Celtic, Germanic, and Icelandic peoples.