Meep(:

What he saw made him almost choke. Behind the angle stood the lad who wasn't even bad. Maybe you want to move the words around in the first sentence, To ...

P.S: I would not just yet classify it as historical fiction... because as the story progresses I added some romance {which I might add, have zero experience in writing, am ...

miyaviloves - Thanks for the advice! FreakyDoo12 - Haha, I will. Erm...no? It can't really be based on anyone I know, the setting is in well.. I'm still not too ...

Haha. Thanks, really. THough you didn't critique, the intention is there. I agree, these are really competent and helpful people. Better than I expected, the reviews I got. I must ...

Hey... Why can't I see/taste/feel the cookies? AWW ): Haha :D I WANT COOKIES!!! *Turns into Sesame's Street's blue and fuzzy COOKIE MONSTER!!!*

Woah. It had some kind of dreamy-like effect when I read it. I think all the mistakes have been pointed out, And I'm not exactly the best person to critique, ...

WOW. Thanks for pointing out all the blind spots for me :D I feel like I have to redo the whole thing again. Hmm. The "sister leaving in the middle ...

Wow. Thanks so much for your help! :D I plan to keep her character quite consistent, but I plan for the story to span over a few years. Just a ...

Hello, my name is O phelia and my husband's name is O rlando. We live in Oman and sell O oopa-Loompas. [Hope I didn't repeat the country. Its the only ...

Granted, but you get stung by a whole hive of them(bees). I wish pigs could fly.

Hey! I'm sort of new too! Just joined a few days back! and I'm already glued to this website :D Hope you'll like it here. Your "resume" sounds very impressive ...

Hey people! This is my first try writing a super duper long story [Like as long as a published book you'd come across], and this is only the first chapter. ...

WOW WOW WOW!!! I love it!!! Continue writing!!! I think being deprived of Midnight Sun is making seek for alternatives. And yours is GOOD. PM me when the next chapter ...

Have I mentioned how I am clawing my eyes out now, waiting for the next chapter? AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME FABULOUS FABULOUS FABULOUS FABULOUS FABULOUS AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING ...

Erm. I'm sort of confused. Isaac is still alive? Then who was Carmen talking about in chapter 1 where she killed someone? Then now she's guilty about someone she killed? ...