MarbleToast

Hey there. Me here for a review. So, the main problem here is grammar. I'll take the first sentence as an example; “Hi my name is Timothy Daniel Super.I’m Thirteen ...

This sounds like it was an awesome RP! Right, so I think the main strength in this piece is the dialogue; as this was built on an RP, the speech ...

Short and sweet. I think you could have used a bit more in terms of the descriptive side of it, but the way the characters talk and act are good. ...

Right, so from what I see, this is about a wolf god in a nightclub being attacked by a demon ghoul. So, disregarding the non-formated state of this, it seems ...

This part of the story I'm not such a fan of, though it starts out good. I'm assuming the glass was radioactive? Well, I think that this was a nice ...

First off, I really like the entire context. A big ol' factory that makes glass all day. That really seems cool. I was entertained throughout, and when the furnace became ...

I really like the way you interpret the mecha suits. The terminology seems very realistic, what with everything techy like it is. Along with this is the military-style communication between ...

Woah. That was pretty cool. Right then, first off, I like the idea of what this prologue presents. It's lycanthropic in nature, but the way you've written it makes the ...

Ouch. Yeah, so this is what I would say should be a prologue. It's short, says hardly anything about the characters, but is still a very effective piece of work. ...

I'd like to point out that because this is a chapter, I am reviewing it for the chapter, and ignoring things that may be the same in other chapters, as ...

Right then... I really like this entire idea of angels versus demons, I'm really interested in this stuff. Seeing as it's an idea at this stage, there isn't much plot ...

This was something you should be proud of. The light alternate reality thing going on with the body-mods is something you pulled off well, with the description of the old ...

That was certainly different. Grammar seems all fine, apart from maybe a couple of typos, but I don't count those, and the beginning section detailing "your" life is actually really ...

First off, I quite like this. Some parts need a sprinkling of punctuation in order to convey some of the words- "Oh uh yes uh," could do with a couple ...

First off, this prologue is really light on content, so a review is rather difficult. However, here I go: The mysteriousness of the entire thing is slightly overwhelming. There is ...