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DeafeningSun

  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Teen Fiction
    Re: The island, Prologue, attempt 2.

    This is beautifully written! I really liked all the descriptive words, I'm a sucker for description. From this sentence on "the man says whilst walking down the gradually descending ringed ...

    Oct 20, 2013

  • Poetry » General, General
    Re: Dear Diary

    I don't really know much when it comes to poems but I'll do my best to review yours today! This poem was a really interesting concept but I think you ...

    Oct 20, 2013

  • Short Story » Teen Fiction, Romantic
    Re: The Cat's Calling

    I really liked this story! I read the whole thing and the descriptive words you used were perfect and I didn't see any spelling errors and not very many punctual ...

    Oct 20, 2013

  • Article / Essay » General, General
    Re: Priorities of a Teenager

    I really liked the way the first paragraph started out. It was a perfect definition really about how we today, as teenagers feel about the word success. It was a ...

    Oct 17, 2013

  • Article / Essay » General, General
    Re: Curiosity killed the cat or Curious cat killed a …

    I really loved how much description was used in this story. The words chosen fit perfectly in the text. I especially loved this sentence. "The place total dark got lit ...

    Oct 17, 2013

  • Short Story » Realistic, General
    Re: My story.

    This is a great piece to start with. I think the beginning really clearly demonstrates how most writers feel, afraid their work with be scorned and thrown over other's shoulders. ...

    Oct 17, 2013

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Mystery / Suspense
    Re: Love and Lies: Chapter One

    Firstly, I noticed you switch back and forth between tenses, and I do this too so don't feel bad. For example, at first you said "the man HAD come in" ...

    Mar 10, 2013

  • Short Story » Realistic, Romantic
    Re: That Girl Part 2

    Interesting. I can't believe how snotting and mean this girl is! At first I was really really confused but you explained everything wonderfully and at the end I'm just sitting ...

    Mar 10, 2013

  • Short Story » Narrative, Realistic
    Re: Somebodies.

    This was a really different story, the kind of story that I wouldn't normally read. But it contains things I wouldn't normally think, and I REALLY liked it. It was ...

    Mar 10, 2013

  • Short Story » Horror, Mystery / Suspense
    Re: Danielle and Rebecca's test.

    I'm honestly really confused right now. It was an interesting plot that sucked me in, and I really like the kinds of stories that confuse you in the begining, but ...

    Mar 9, 2013

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Supernatural
    Re: Rising Danger sample

    Chapter One Today was supposed to be special but instead Chyna Lorne was in her one bedroom apartment in Butte, Montana, throwing clothes in a suitcase that had belonged to ...

    Jul 15, 2012

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: The beginning of us ( chapter title )

    I absolutely loved this, WRITE MORE! The only thing I noticed was this. You didn't finish the quoation marks.>" The thing is Mom. Your opinion hold no value in my ...

    Dec 8, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General
    Re: Hidden Illusions Chapter 4

    Melanie walked into the gym Friday night and headed straight for the front. Spotting Mark alone, she walked over and sat down by him. Brittaney appeared next to them a ...

    Nov 6, 2011

  • Short Story » Romantic, General
    Re: Headlights

    Very descriptive and nicely writen, I loved it because I can relate to the story. It's very unique and full of it's own kind of spice! Now to the nit ...

    Aug 27, 2011

  • Short Story » Romantic, General
    Re: Gravestone pt.1

    I don't mean to be rude, but hear are my thoughts: The story had a good plot to it. It could be very interesting and exciting if you add some ...

    Aug 27, 2011


"Be yourself" is not advice. It's an existential crisis waiting to happen.
— Hank Green