Lynlyn

Hi guys, Thanks for the reviews thus far, they've been very informative. Hopefully I can get some editing in before the deadline; looks like I mainly just need to cut ...

Hmm... Not much I can suggest to make this chapter better. Well, it's obvious that this is taking place later in your character's life, but how much later? The prologue ...

If you want someone to call someone else a dear boy, they have to be called Laurence Olivier, not Whiskers. Best. Comment. Ever. That's all I have to say. Besides ...

I actually thought the same thing about the candy. Maybe it's some sort of spell that creates the illusion of being covered in bugs and goo, when really it's not ...

Sadly, I no longer have the parts I deleted, but you've inspired me to look back over this piece. I think I'll add more to the adventure of Alice and ...

You did help, a lot. I understand what you're saying with the first bit - the gist of the sentence was supposed to be that while he hadn't heard that ...

and you still kept in that line "snakes of tempered steel" I know, I still imagine this person brandishing these silver wiggly things, but maybe that's just because I'm so ...

Why would this make you retch? I'm sorry but this is not an emo poem. It is about betrayal. The "gorges of my despair" part is about the despair in ...

On the first chapter: One continuity error: he's looking at the sea, but it's smooth as glass? Yeah, the "smooth as glass" was supposed to be part of the dreamlike ...

Oops. Those are, again, I-edited-this-sentence-and-then-didn't-catch- that-it-made-the-next-one-awkward mistakes. I tried the "reading backwards" thing this time, apparently it helped a little... but

I don't want to edit this just yet - experience has taught me that if I start editting the first chapter as I finish it, I'll never finish to Chapter ...

Thanks for your comments, guys, they mean a lot. I wasn't actually expecting such a positive response :). Yeah, the wedding scene is undoubtedly what I had the most trouble ...

You. Guys. Are. Geniuses. :elephant: Have cookies. CrypticWaters, you're right. Those are more things that I could have fixed by making sure that the parts I changed when editing made ...

Thank you oodles! Here's your cookie. Sorry, I was a little hungry... After running it through Word Processor, I found only one error: “Last time we were in port, I ...

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