Loose

Watch out for the bad word ;) CLAUDETTE'S NIECE "I thought you said she was in here." Rick's latest girlfriend stood in the doorway to the spare room. My gaze ...

i enjoyed this, only I havent read the rest of the story so it makes no sense. But it was a good chapter 30!

okay two things: 1)That spacing is freaky and annoying 2) paragraphs!

okay, that first sentence doesnt make any sense. Did you make sure to spell check?

XD heaps of people have told me they want to know who's at the door, its so funny. THE SUSPENSE MUST BE KILLING YOU! Truth be told its not a ...

I cant join 2 and 3 together cos theyre different people. 2 is Rick and 3 is Claudette

okay i read it, ish. The first few lines seem a bit like a poem to me XD Yeah, it was good now you must read mine, mwahahaha

Ive been going through a phase lately where Im addicted to stories that arent just "chapter one chapter two chapter three" 2 pages long. AND I LOVED THIS!! Its a ...

This was good. Youve got enough critiques but that wont stop me. I agree with Sam, well the first thing they said. The first line needs a bit more grab. ...

Ive made a decision to make all chapters that aren't from Corrie short. CLAUDETTE'S NIECE I laid out an extra dish for Corrie, in case she decided to show up ...

XD a camera-whore?

I'm not too sure about this chapter, it seems a bit weak to me. Tell me what you think ;) CHAPTER 2 RICK'S GIRL "Damn this rain. I can't see ...

feel free to critique anytime!!

Okay, its a bit long but I got through it! Whoo! I love the names too, Nekara, Bulion But I cant really critique fantasy fiction since I cant really tolerate ...

ONE It had never rained like this before. As I stared out the window, I was starting to wonder if Mother Nature was mourning the death of my sister. It ...