LlamaDuck

The Christmas Wish Barney looked up at the stunningly decorated Christmas tree. He loved watching the fairy-lights flicker and the tinsel sparkle. At the top of the gigantic pine was ...

... I liked this it had a good rhythm but then you changed in the next verse and it slowed down a bit ... I think this line was to ...

I think this is a really good idea for a story though i also think it needs a little work. There were some parts that i felt you could have ...

I liked it, very emotional though i wish i knew a bit more about how they lost their life of luxury and where the dad was. Did he die? Did ...

I think the second one. It has a lot of good description and has more feeling that the first. I don't think that Snoink is right in saying you should ...

Roxo Roxo lay on his back in the long grass watching the clouds float across the sky, the summer breeze flowed through the grass like a river. It whistled past ...

Bundle of Sorrow The dirty, dusty windows of Brine street were so thick with grime that passers-by could hardly tell weather the inside lights of buildings were on or off, ...