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  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: Empty Sky (Edits)

    I'll keep this short, seeing as I don't have much to say. This is nice and philosophical and all that, but, as you said, others have said that it didn't ...

    Jun 20, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Bullets (1)

    Holy crapola. The diner smells of death and brew. That is one fantastic first sentence. And now I will read on. ^^ I'm sitting here, feet propped up on the ...

    Jun 20, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: A Cold Grey Memory, Prologue

    Hi there! I suppose it's because I don't know what's coming next, but why do you even have a prologue? This information, for me, seems as if it could be ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: My other half part 1

    Oh dear heavens. That first paragraph jumped out at me. And I don't mean the "BOO, did I scare you?!" kind of thing. I mean that a hoard of monsters ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Broken: Chapter 1: A friend, an ally, a lover?

    Hi. :D This is actually quite nice. The beginning was a bit slow, but near the end it became really sweet. There were a few nit-picky things that bothered me, ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: KATANA: Prolouge

    Hi there! Shawn was worried. Why? He had a date. Sure he'd had dates before, but this was the one date that would seal the deal. He and his girlfriend, ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Feed

    I haven't read this book, and frankly I don't even know what it's about. (Though I suppose we can assume from your fantastic little piece of insight, eh?) This is ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Vengeance

    Hiya! Please please please tell me that your misspelling of "vengeance" was on purpose. Anyways, to the review! I love how you jumped straight into the action, wonderful job. However, ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Demon Within (Part 1)

    Hi there! Okay, so I read a bit into this and had to immediately pause. I had a "What the heck just happened?!" moment, and I really hate those. Here's ...

    May 29, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Love shouldn't hurt

    This is really great! It's concise and clear, and everyone can relate to it. Just one nit-pick: "A far" is actually one word. It should be "afar." I like this ...

    May 27, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: The Impossible

    Hi there! So, this story has a great beginning. The dreams and the detail in those first few paragraphs give the story a soft, soothing sort of tone, but then ...

    May 26, 2011
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: What is the Best Book you have read...

    Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison: I'm obsessed with stories with strong character. I actually read this one for English this year, and I was supposed to focus on analyzing character ...

    May 26, 2011
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Road Kill

    Hi there. :) Maybe it's because I'm so tired right now, but I really had trouble focusing on the story as a whole. Its pace seems so quick, constantly jumping ...

    May 22, 2011
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: The Sniper

    Hi there, again. Your writing style sounds so much like mine, I'm excited to read this.

    May 18, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: I'll Protect You part 1

    Hi there! The first thing that I noticed here is that your characters could use a bit of development. There are also other ways to improve, but I'll mainly focus ...

    May 16, 2011


Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.
— Neil Gaiman