Lilicia

Hi there! I read the first part - this is a good story. It kept me intruiged the whole way through. Your descriptions are great . ;) Just a few ...

Hey there! I see you're new here - welcome! I'm Lilicia *shakes hand* So this is an interesting beginning, but there are a few things that need fixing. Nitpicks first ...

Hi there! I've had a look at the other chapters, and this seems like a very interesting story. You're a good writer. However, at the moment, it seems like you've ...

It wasn’t beautiful snow. It was muddy, engraved by the heavy souls of winter boots. Damaged. In the centre: a crack in the earth, narrow and profound. Ice glistened on ...

Hi there! This is a very sweet story, well written, too. Just a few things: The mother buried her face in her hands and started crying before Sarah finished saying ...

Hi there! I really enjoyed this; it's written beautifully. *like* :D The sun dribbles in ever so slowly through the cracks the nurse has left in my blinds. Although I ...

Hi there! This is a very good piece. I felt really sad reading it, so great job. I love the descriptions, too. Nitpicks: The night it happened is a night ...

Hi there! This is an interesting concept: narrating the story from two different points of view is intruiging. However, both characters seem a little flat - they are basically saying ...

Hi there! This is interesting, and there are some great descriptions. But it's not as good as it could be... yet. Nitpicks first. Corrections in red and suggestions in bold. ...

Thanks for the advice guys! :)

Thanks so much for the reviews! They were helpful (:

You wake up drenched in cold sweat. The bedclothes are dripping, and you realise that you’ve wet yourself. Your favourite pyjamas, the ones with the little footballs, are spoilt. You ...

Hi there! Are you new here? If so, welcome to YWS! :) I'm Lilicia *shakes hand* On to the review: Firstly: I advise breaking down your paragraphs. I found this ...

This is me posing with my rabbit XD :)

Hi there! This isn't bad for a first story. It's certainly very action packed! It leaves me wanting to read more; to know why the MC was going to be ...