Leja

Saint >> Using bbcode when writing longhand makes you instantly awesome 8)

Hmm, In ten years, I hope I'll be working for the New York Botanic Gardens and plotting like mad for NaNo 2018 :P

These are all things we've heard before, just in a list. Why are they more important for this poem? What has changed about them? Look into the subjects a little ...

I agree with Trident; get rid of the nonessential words like "please" and "because" and see what you have left, because it sounds rather sappy. That's alright, of course, at ...

To alleviate confusion? Ciao, everyone! Even though most of you just responded to say that you didn't understand, I'm still glad you left a comment because it forced me to ...

When responding, please remember that you are critiquing the poem, not the previous commenters. Please keep on topic. Now on to the poem! The thing about this poem is that ...

I just started plotting today, actually. It's superduper exciting! :D

Aloha, Eimear! Below are some suggestions for the rhythm; the easiest way to tell if you like the rhythm or not (I think) is to read it out loud :D ...

The first and the second stanzas contrast too much for me. The first half is all about the metaphor, and almost being mystified by it, while the second half is ...

This is a good beginning; the progression of ideals/emotions makes sense but I'd like to see more imagery, especially around the idea of making a home. It's vaguely present in ...

The very first thing I wondered while reading this poem was why we needed to know minute physical descriptions of the people involved. Concentrate more on why they're there: the ...

Deducing by the missing-ness of a clothes-ily type of line, I must say that I concur. It must have been aliens! P.S. Your backyard is really pretty :D

Are you still wearing that same red dress? We'll have to get you a new one; blue's really more your color anyway.

Of course multiple ideas and opinions matter; that's the very nature of criticism. Maybe someone else will look at this poem and know exactly what you're trying to say. Maybe ...

Since we've safely made it through the opening ceremonies, I tend to think the threat has been averted.