Leja

Hah! I'm always ready to agree when someone's complaining about homework! I really liked the first three lines.

Granted! It's now too good for anyone else to appreciate. I wish my paper was organized

He was supposed to be teaching her how to dance; but instead, all she seemed to be doing was falling down. She tripped over her feet, then his, and again, ...

Granted! But cleaning takes you forever, so even though you're good at it, you get frustrated and give up. I wish I could turn back time (just one teensy little ...

I liked it! A nice little piece that sums up your thoughts very nicely (wow, I say nice alot). *jumps up and down* write another! write another!

I liked the whole thing! Because it rhymes, I picture a child telling this story, like when a four year old walks into the kitchen while company's there, and recites ...

My only complaint would be too many adjectives, especially in the second stanza. Also, it might involve the reader more if you told not only what someone watching the little ...

I liked it alot! As I was reading it, I felt like I was slipping from one line to the next, like when you roll a bouncy ball down the ...

Try breaking up the text a bit more... I noticed that there was a space between two larger blocks of text; if you're trying to make chapters, maybe separate those ...

I think this story is very well written; there isn't much there that isn't necessary. The only thing I would change would be to take out the final repetition of ...

Sorry fishface, I don't really like it either, mostly because it's an embellished children's poem. Also, the lines have nothing to do with each other; they're just there to rhyme ...

One of the first things I'd reccomend would be to space things out a little more. I can see why some lines would be left as full sentences (such as ...

I liked the rhyme scheme, especially when it fits so well with your word choice; I thought it gave a sense of weightlessness in the first part, and in the ...

7/10 Seemed tranquil until the part about bashing people against rocks...

In Polish, you can also say: "Dzen dobray!" Welcome to YWS!