Leja

It crushed him and drove the oxygen from his lungs, and pushed him further under the viscous filth that enveloped them both. there are alot of "and"s in this sentence. ...

Why doesn't anyone know???

Granted... then they make fun of it. I wish that my English class could be transcribed for a comedy skit (it's certainly funny enough.

I leave the classroom, headed for a the water fountain down the hall. On my left, two girls sit against the locker, talking. I know them, but not very well, ...

I couldn't figure out what the last line of the first stanza had to do with the lines before it. I also wouldn't recommend so much punctuation, especially when it ...

It was common for slaves to be hidden in safe houses during the day, then travel under the floor of a wagon at night to the next safe house. There's ...

I always cover my paperback books because otherwise, the corners get bent and frayed from sloshing in my backpack. Anyway, I cover them as I would a text book, with ...

Want to read from the beginning? The prologue can be found here: Prologue --- Major rewrite coming soon! --- Mrs. Mills was not a particularly frightening person. She was of ...

In the first line, I wasn't expecting it to say "the eternity"; it's usually assumed that there's only one eternity, but if you meant a certain eternity, just disregard the ...

No, the continuous metaphor wasn't too much. I like how the sentences/ideas didn't end at the end of the lines because that made it seem smoother to me. The only ...

You crawl through the back door and knock on the side of my cell phone. I'm not sure why someone would knock on the side of a cell phone. If ...

Of COURSE I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year. I only found out about it in September (of all convenient months) last year, and then life was hectic in November, so I'm ...

Some of the word choices in the lines bothered me; if I had been reading it aloud, I would have tripped on some of these phrases such as "it's exactly ...

Hearts on sleeves: difficult to guard.

8/10 Hehe, it made me laugh.