Leja

I think that the left half of your brain controls the right side of your motor skills, and the right half of your brain controls the left half of your ...

What a gorgeous sky in both the pictures (If the guy in the second one really bothers you, you could just crop him out). And the water reflects the sun ...

I think you can eliminate "sitting" from the first line to make it a little more sing-songy, let it flow better. Likewise, "Like so many other chances you provide?" you ...

"you're the worst I let you bring out the worst in me so then, I must be worse" This whole stanza sounded ramble-y to me. The first two lines can ...

"giggling at the shivering of each other we plaster genuine faces on one another" The shivering of each other didn't make much sense to me, other than to satisfy the ...

Welcome to YWS, jessibee; I'm hopping, skipping, jumping to read something right now... :D

Nothing in his life Became him like the leaving it; he died As one that had been studied in his death To throw away the dearest thing he owed, As ...

"That brought back all the thoughts that he had been trying to hold at bay into full flight. What if she didn’t survive?" The "that" is nondescript and needs something ...

10/10... ridiculously funny

But there is a tragic ending; the girl drowns at the end! Even though the waves were made specifically for the movie shoot, the danger was still real; even though ...

Umm, is there more to the story? You should post enough story here to critique.

--- Version 3 --- They jumped from the helicopter: the cold, dark water devouring their time, toes, hands, digit by digit, their vision frame by frame, as eighteen people got ...

The second paragraph begins with a very long sentence that tries to deal with too many things. Break it up into at least two sentences (one dealing with what a ...

Israel and Palestine This topic confuses me to no extent. I think I understand all of the religious issues between the different groups of people, but if anyone could explain ...

7/10...interesting...*is thinking*... [@ write me, anything that comes out of Lorelai's mouth seems to me automatically funny]