Leja

This is very helpful Snoink, thank you!

I liked it. I can't say exactly why. I just like how it sounds when read. *will make musical analogy; hope it's alright* It seems pretty low key for a ...

I think the first stanza spends too much time setting up an image, and not enough time progressing the poem. I vote you mix the first and third stanza together ...

I didn't like how "We come/learn" was repeated in the first few stanzas, then just stopped. It seemed smushed together. I liked the lines: "The wind divines where I stand, ...

When read out loud, the line "On sweating gland’s questions that you deflect" sounds like it has too many words in it. I think most of this is in the ...

Oh, me likes the indents :D [I think "played" and "punished" are in the same tense as "captured" and "lived", as past participles, where they're not solid preterite tense, but ...

I liked the second stanza alot; it all seemed to fit together, but the first stanza seemed a little thrown together. I thought the "One of those / tooskinny-makeup-overload / ...

a girl with a hat: ........ she plays in the park collecting memories, ........ so others don’t have to she skips around ........ experiencing the moment lived ........ (a life ...

Hehe, what a cute Kirby dance ^_^ Welcome to YWS

Hello, Linda; we like flutists here *holds up flute*. Hope to see you around the site, -Amelia

Yay, more music people! I'm Amelia, Stephanie; like everyone else, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have. *consider yourself met* ^_^ see you around, -Amelia

Nice to meet you, Kristen; I'm Amelia. *waves* See you around!

The reflection is pretty cool :D

So... Oath of the Tennis Courts. My history book just says "they vowed not to disband until they had come to an agreement". Yes, that's lovely. But that doesn't tell ...

I read the first book, but I just can't get into the second one, so I'm out of the loop entirely. I did like the first one, though.