Leja

Line breaks seemed choppy and arbitrary at best. The whole thing seemed pretty ramble-y to me, and I couldn't really get into it enough to give a decent critique. I ...

First of all, the title is a huge turn-off. If you don't like your work, how do you expect others to? Woah... repetition. I'm sure you can gauge my reaction ...

This seemed too blatant at the end, just coming out and telling what the "moral of the story" is. Just that last line, especially. It made it seem... too simple. ...

I thought kind of "meh" at the first three stanzas, like it is just a rant-y "why me" kind of poem, but the end redeemed it. I'm not a fan ...

I... liked it. I think. There are elements here that I usually mention in a critique as needing work, but here, everything just works. I really liked the last stanza ...

Love the musicality of it ^_^ That being said, I wish there was more than just the feeling of a crescendo/decrescendo; I wish you'd taken us through a whole piece/ ...

All the "the"s began to bother me after a while. Do you need all of them before the nouns? I think that this: "My frailty bared, what will I become ...

I don't see many ideas here that haven't already been expressed. In other words, it seems to be a typical poem about cutting that doesn't even make me empathize with ...

I feel like you beat around the bush to get to "thousands die for no reason". The one-line interjections seemed a little unnecessary. I don't think that the last stanza ...

That was... erm... different.... but to be fair, I should have been warned by the rating and the subtitle... As long as I'm still telling you what I think, what ...

I like the sing-song-ness, though the rhythme is a bit clumsy some times. It's cute, but other than being a poem for your girlfriend, I don't think it really accomplishes ...

During the middle stanza, at one point, it just seemed like a long list of things that happened in sequence, and that's... alright, but not too interesting. Make people want ...

It seems very... blatent. Almost like there's not much to react to because it was all said already, and because of this, I feel pretty removed from the poem, like ...

I love the last one. The middle one's pretty, and the first one scares me a bit, in all honesty.

My bureau currently looks like this, as my bookshelf fell over and I haven't gotten around to putting everything back on it yet ^_^