Leja

Whee, I like the title :D I didn't like the first two stanzas so much. The first seemed like a general summary, and didn't really seem... complete, like sentence fragments. ...

This kid could become a great character in your story. Whether he's the main character or a side character. Think about these details: ~The way he dresses ~his hairstyle ~his ...

I'm... lost. Each stanza makes enough sense in itself, but altogether, it's a bit confusing. Though from here: When the funeral is over, they think I'll go with them. The ...

First of all, the spaces between lines aren't really necessary; they make it a bit difficult to read, actually. Each key, each note, chosen carefully To create the image of ...

You use the word "one" alot in the first few lines, and it gets tiresome; variety is the spice of life! See how else you can structure the sentence so ...

I am not an emo and have nothing against them but I don't like being labeled before my stuff's read I don't think that really happens; I think it's that ...

My thought at the end of this was "So what?" Essentially, there are always people who feel bad. Why is this person having a unique experience? Why does s/he get ...

Our lips move, voicing words, but forever muted. Never to hear, never again. These are two different things, speaking and hearing, and as such, I don't know if you can ...

This seems more like a set of song lyrics to me than a poem. It presents one thing, and sticks with that one thing for the whole song, not really ...

This seems just like a vague summary of a person. The heart of everything seems to be in the last stanza, but I don't see a general direction for anything ...

This doesn't do much for me; it only gives a recap of what's happened, and hasn't presented them in much else than a timeline. It's "you did this" "you did ...

But they're different: they've lived, adapted. Talking is like showing off a dead dog in the Eukanuba competition. Eew :( I don't even know if the metaphor holds. "You know," ...

Hehe, it's cute! :D

The above wasn't an actual poem, that was just writing to the rhyme to give an example. And yes, for the example, I did create the lines around the rhyme.

Name: Amelia Rank: one blue star Organization: SPEW Bio: Although Amelia is new to the general conflict, she is ready and eager, reporting for duty sir !