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LauRux

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: My Aborted Child

    This piece was interesting, but it wasn't spectacular. You were brave to write about something as controversial as abortion, but I don't think you gave it all the emotion it ...

    Apr 9, 2011

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: When a flower withers

    Hello Ashley, corrections in red . And she was the sunshine of my morning A cloud of love floating by she looked up to the heaven one day And heard ...

    Apr 6, 2011

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: The Decision Process

    Hey there roostangarar, I hope you're having a great day! Corrections in red , brackets if I have any comments. "Look guys", said I, "We've got a distinct lack of ...

    Mar 25, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: Dreams Tell Lies - Chapter One

    Hey IcyFlame. Welcome to YWS, I hope you have fun here :). Corrections in red ! Chapter One: The End The fog had lifted by the time I reached the ...

    Jan 21, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Shadow Deal

    Hey Fallen, corrections in red ! Chapter 1 Prolouge Ever since the accident I haven't had a good night sleep. I have been hunted by the memories of my family ...

    Jan 19, 2011

  • Short Story » Romantic, General
    Re: Wishes Enveloped In Paper Aeroplanes

    Iceprincess, this piece truly moved me. I am so glad you wrote this, I enjoyed it so much. I usually don't like to read about homosexual relationships but I really ...

    Jan 18, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: The real chapter one

    Hey BeachRose! Corrections in red ! I’m no special girl, I’m shy and many people in my grade don’t know what to think of me. Sigh , some would say ...

    Jan 16, 2011

  • Article / Essay » General, General
    Re: “Friend with Benefits” by rots28

    Wow rots, this was very enjoyable! I don't really have any critiques because I am not familiar with this style of writing, but I just wanted to tell you that ...

    Dec 24, 2010

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General
    Re: Draw Near To Me

    Hey Allie, I'm going to review your piece! :> Corrections/suggestions in red . Preface Sometimes you just know when you're in love. It's hard to explain how you know. It's ...

    Dec 24, 2010

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Freak [Edited]

    Hey Chryssa, review time! Comments/corrections in red . Her eyes flashed red in the darkness. Her nails lengthened and her mouth formed a muzzle. She felt the prickle of fur ...

    Dec 24, 2010

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Dream Catcher (1)

    Hello Angels-Symphony! I'm here to review! So first of all, I think your writing style is simply beautiful . This part especially: No birds sing in the silence. Only the ...

    Dec 24, 2010

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Reflection

    Hi paperback! Welcome to YWS! Comments in red . How long have you been asleep? What time was it? The red glare of the clock blinks 7:42. You groan. You ...

    Dec 23, 2010

  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General
    Re: Micheal Kinston

    Hi mhutch, welcome to YWS! brought into this world by to loving, caring parents. Should be "two", not "to" There isn't much I have to say about this, it's pretty ...

    Dec 23, 2010

  • Article / Essay » General, General
    Re: How to be Awkward

    Ignore the camera that the good fellow is offering to you and instead take a good stare into the depth of his eyes. Don’t allow your mouth to utter a ...

    Dec 23, 2010

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Fantasy Novel - Chapter 1 - Exiled

    Hey dani, corrections in Red ! Chapter 1. – Exiled A flash, whiteness, blurr ed edges. A white dove on the balcony. A raven flies descends upon it . They ...

    Dec 22, 2010


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