LamaLama

This looks good. A few comments: Who is 'the man' you refer to in the first sentence? Changing that to "A man" would be better. Also, a description of this ...

Is blood involved?

Don't you know?

Is it your conscience?

Hey, I'm new too! Lets be new together!

Do you have a headache?

There are legends, countless legends that tell of the consumption of the planet by the infinite god inspired power of the Elites. They tell of men of valor, the great ...

Some of your metaphors didn't make much sense to me. Though it could just be me, poetry isn't really my scene. The first line especially "swallowing out ribbons" I don't ...

This was aright, though it was as you said, abysmally short. It doesn't really start anywhere. You kinda just start going. It would be better with some kind of lead ...