Kylan

Again, thanks to all! I've made a few changes, particularly to the ending line. Hopefully it's better now. -Kylan

Well, I can't give you much of a critique due to the lack of...well, everything. But as a quick-write, vent-that-creative build-up, I guess it was fine. Some of the sentence ...

Have her switch, by all means. It will strengthen your characters personality, make her more real, and more relatable in the end. I mean, come on. Who among us hasn't ...

Nice job, smorg. Your improvements have made GTG pristine. I have fallen in love with this piece: a perfect dystopian projection of the future (or a metaphor of the present). ...

How about a storybook where people don't get stuck in the doldrums of 'introductions'? How about a storybook where people post more than a paragraph? How about a storybook that ...

Thanks you two! Your advice is extremely helpful. Sugar >> You mentioned that the use of charlatan is incorrect. You're right. That's what I get for using a thesaurus without ...

Okay. The main problem with this piece was your structuring. You write in a strange, convoluted style with sentences that kind of wind their way around the page. Much of ...

[pre]spin the wheel, notched and loaded. A twisted statistical quandary with a marble which could land on alternating pockets of red and black but mostly red. Where sixlines and corners ...

That was great Sam! You have this way of pulling storytellng off effortlessly and in a way that makes me desperately want more. This piece is lean, dark, attractive, and, ...

That was great Sam! You have this way of pulling storytellng off effortlessly and in a way that makes me desperately want more. This piece is lean, dark, attractive, and, ...

Okay, here's an exercise for you... Roughly a month ago, sitting in church with only a pencil and notebook as entertainment, doodling absently while babies screamed and the speaker droned, ...

Is known for being the mother of a good looking baby girl. -Kylan

Ten and eleven

Hey there, smorg! This is pretty good. Seeing as I've got some pretty stiff competition on my hands with this piece in the running, I'm surprised how low it sank ...

Username: 80% Sounds roman... Very retro Avvie: 60% looks cool, but in another thread you mentioned it was wolf-themed, which is an immediate turnoff ^_^ Custom Title: -- Country: 60% ...