Kylan

I really liked this. Normally, I don't go for rhyming poetry because I feel it's far too easy to come across as immature and...nonsensical, but you really pulled it off. ...

I think that I'm critiquing the work of the next Jack London :wink: . Speaking of Jack London, this piece was extremely reminiscent of "White Fang": a captured wolf who ...

What's it like? How much time passes before you become sober again? Is there any home remedy (ie. black coffee) that you can use to help you become sober again? ...

Rules are simple: Post a simile or metaphor that you've come up with and that you think is especially unique or clever. Give feedback to the person who has posted ...

Yeah razor. I'm kinda in the same boat. And yes, I will try my best to be patient. -Kylan

Kyte - Are you purposely trying to ignore my advice? WRITE MORE BEFORE YOU POST! I just spent some time looking through your portfolio. You have many projects going on ...

Yes, a very nice piece of flash fiction. You managed to capture the beginning of a storm brilliantly. There are no characters, however, and it is very difficult to portray ...

First off, I noticed this piece had the same problems that "Jumping Jax" had. Too short. It doesn't excite the reader at all. I don't care about the story, the ...

Vague horror/action/adventure possiblity: A serial killer has the ability to hunt and torture the ghosts of his victims. -Kylan

(Does this belong in fantasy?) Okay. Unlike everybody else, I wasn't partial to this piece. I found the description awkward and the internal dialogue confusing. The beginning portion - which ...

"Said" is a controversial word. Your english teachers will tell you to find synonyms for said, whereas writing how-to books will tell you to leave said alone. My advice: take ...

Good start, but too much telling. If I want to learn about a war or rebellion from a detatched narrator, I'll read a history book, not a novel. Never tell ...

First of all, this belongs in the science fiction forum. Second of all, and for the most part, this was entertaining. Your description could use some work and the story ...

Well, I can't suggest how to start something like this. It's your story, it's your style. My only warning was to stay away from cliches and to take a more ...

Your first paragraph is incredibly cliche. It does nothing to hook the reader, it does nothing to pique my interest. Bright sunny day in the middle of the summer . ...