Kit

Guys, John Marsden, "Tomorrow When the War Began" and series etc. Female protag, but realistic teenage crap and explosions. Appeals equally to both sexes. Marsden's quite clever that way.

Welcome, welcome. I was actually quite drawn to the bleakness of this piece, the mechanics, and I disagree in this instance with Cade. I think the lack of meaning has ...

I like this a lot, it's universal, insightful, there's a delicate deliberation in your phrasing which is quite lovely. I'd be interested to see you play with some sense imagery, ...

Because you are part of their family tree, they think they can prune you.

If an emo poem sent me to the depths of despair and shattered my soul, that would be an effective poem, an ineffective one would be self indulgent attention seeking ...

**clears throat puts on her cynical critic hat** Not drastically devoid of delight. I appreciate the nod to TS Eliot, Lewis Carroll, and early Peter Carey. This occurs to me ...

I, quiver anew, a new quiver, I the bed of your arrow, I, callow and soft Buttery, I, fluttery Decoupage my décolletage Am I so be-cumming, boys? Sperm spatter suffrage ...

Disjointed riot. The word outrageous comes to mind which may or may not be a good thing... however.. MCGUFFIN! **laughs** Classic that. That is all.

This is such hot back humour, almost makes me wish I liked coffee. We've got the logic of Sade, the sardonic wit of Miriam Toews, Augusten Boroughs, of course, but ...

I can see some of the things you're playing with here. If your going for literary legitimacy, probably it's better to go the whole hog and embrace existentialism or fatalism, ...

Woo! I'm there!

No shorter than any other haiku.

Disagreeable Persons (Grammar's) First Person: Extended pornography- Strippers hide their souls.

I Can't Be Rid of You It's melody masked and immersed in malarial malady; Cloaked in a cough, screaming take it all off, and a chill. Diet rest and exorcism ...

Simple imagery and metaphor, Someguy. The curl of phrase, that's just words from someone, a letter, and email. The breath in the wire, the telephone. I cannot put a break ...