Kirahh

I really loved your work :D One thing I would have done is break it up into more stanzas, like: They came to me that day, Bowed heads and teary ...

I once loved a man named James. James was a writer, a poet, and an unknown composer. He was quite an eye catcher, also. We were lovers since high school. ...

It was a good poem, but it felt like as if you could have explained it better. Don't get me wrong; IT WAS AWESOME! One thing I'd like to point ...

I really liked that :D I loved the way you described things so vivid; I could picture it perfectly in my mind. One thing I'd like to point out though. ...

The men shout as the storm brews in Some of their foots connect with my shin I can’t understand why I couldn’t move because of the song travelling through the ...

I enjoyed that a lot! One small suggestion at one line. And I know that there's nothing That I can do to change her mind. I kind of thought that ...

I really liked how you used red for 'lite'. It instantly caught my eye :D One thing; what is the story exactly about? Because I was trying to create an ...

It's a good plot, but it needs a bit more work. For example, his getting more attached could help me none. You could replace that with 'him getting attached to ...

It seemed you guys really helped me with the introduction, so why not help me with these parts too? I sat perched at the top of the building, peering through ...

I think the piece is good, but it would have been better if you focused on all the aspects, such as the characters emotions. As someone noted before, you focused ...

Yes it does :D

Oh my goodness I love that! One thing; In this line ------>"...A game in which he never surrenders, no matter what I say or do." I kind of got confused ...

Fire. That was all I saw everywhere I looked. I wasn’t sure who caused this, but surely I wasn’t planning on waiting to find out. I hurried through the hallways, ...

Don't have any doubts in your work! I think this is excellent for a first try. Practice makes perfect, no? :) Keep going Kirah

Thank you for your kind words! I'll send you chapters 1-5 once I read them over. :)