KingKamor

@Darklight: I actually editted a whole lot of the infodumping out, and I thought that it was a little better, but I guess not. Thanks for the good critique. Nobody ...

((Before anyone asks, yes. I my username is the same as one of my characters. Why? Because I can. Enjoy :) )) Prologue: The Lavana Fragment After Fragmentation: 0573, Mosika, ...

Hey, I'm KingKamor (which is actually a name of one of my characters. I did it without thinking >_>

That's a pretty good start. What got me wondering was why there's so much fighting amongst the kids in an orphanage when they generally become good friends in real life. ...

Prologue and chapter 1 critique: I enjoyed the kind of dark feeling that I got from the Prologue. All of the characters' dialogue seems to flow quite well, but there ...